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It’s the end of the world as we know it

Create an emergency preparedness plan.

I do not know what an Emergency Preparedness Plan is. (In reality, I didn’t even realise that “Preparedness” was a correct phrase till now.)

If we’re speaking about surviving an apocalypse, fairly frankly I wouldn’t need to; I’d somewhat be taken out by the asteroid/zombies/marauding Chats Noirs/no matter, than need to struggle my neighbours for the final tin of natural plum tomatoes looted from Waitrose. However, if we imply usually having sufficient to get by within the occasion of all provides being lower off, the one fear we now have is Louis Catorze’s meals.

If his Orijen provide have been to stop, Catorze would simply starve. Unlike people, and most canine, cats received’t accept a below-par second alternative within the occasion of their first alternative not being obtainable. There’s none of that “They’ll eat it when their pure survival intuition kicks in” logic. NO, THEY WILL NOT. THEY WOULD RATHER DIE.

The little sod does eat issues aside from Orijen; he’s keen on a little bit of jambon de Bayonne (the white fatty bits, not a lot the pink bits) and natural aged Comté from the cheese deli (not grocery store Comté, and undoubtedly not Cheddar). However, he solely eats them in small quantities, as if he KNOWS they’re a delicacy and that it might be vulgar to gorge himself foolish on them (the feline equal of filling a wine glass proper to the highest, which Cat Daddy as soon as did in a flowery restaurant and the sommelier was disgusted).

I can’t see Catorze consuming sufficient to maintain himself – and, post-Armageddon, I think about that recent jambon de Bayonne and recent Comté could be in even shorter provide than Orijen.

Catorze additionally fortunately tucks into the blood and heads of rodents however, once more, although we’re all instructed that rodents would survive a nuclear holocaust, I don’t assume Catorze would be capable to catch sufficient to maintain him alive. And I don’t like the concept of him consuming semi-nuked rats and turning into some type of radioactive FrankenRoi. He’s sufficient bother as it’s.

In quick, we don’t have a plan. If Catorze have been to make it by way of Armageddon, his solely hope is that we die first after which he might simply eat us. I imagine he would have the decency to attend till Cat Daddy have been totally lifeless, however, with me, partially-dead would suffice … and he would begin from my ft and work upwards.

The finish is nigh.

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